Losing weight and keeping it off is not as simple as internet and infomercial ads love for you to buy into – literally.
Losing weight and keeping it off requires willingness, effort, commitment & sacrifice. Anyone or anything that tells you otherwise is lying. This doesn’t mean that it has to be a “hard” thing though. This is just another lie that we tell ourselves, and each other (it is not OK to sabotage others in this way), so we don’t have to make any real decisions or changes in our lives.
These truths – that losing weight requires action on our part & that it presents challenges – keeps most people from ever making a real decision.
Oh we make “decisions” alright -“I’ll start my new diet on Monday”, and so we clean out the foods that we are afraid of and eat healthy for a week or two maybe. Then life happens and we slip, eat something that was off limits and before we know it we are right back where we started. Except this time we have a little more guilt and shame to add to our “I am a failure” pile (that’s stating it nicely – my own self-talk has been much more demeaning).
Another decision we make – “That ab machine looks awesome!” – and so we buy the ultimate home ab machine and DVD (or fill in the blank with whatever new program is going around) and there it sits in our basement or spare bed room serving as a place to hang things on. Our DVD collection is quite impressive though!
We make “decisions” all the time – but rarely THE decision that matters most. That decision for me was, and still is, “I am willing to do whatever it takes to change my life”.
What I was doing no longer worked. I was always focused on immediate results. If I didn’t see them then I abandoned my resolve and proceeded to binge eat and not workout at all. These “decisions” only served the purpose of keeping the wheel of self-hate and victimization in motion. That’s what all those external, quick-fix, gimmick decisions did for me. Nothing more.
In the real world immediate results are rare when we are aiming for sustained anything – weight loss, retirement, loving relationships, paying off debt, building a business, etc… Working towards something that births awe inspiring, breath taking realizations when viewed retrospectively requires grit and perseverance.
Once I fully accepted that to change my life I was going to need to apply right intention and right effort I began to see results – results that are lasting today – 8 years and 120 + pounds lighter.
Many people won’t make this decision because they have a foundation for life that is based in “this is too hard”. They are seeking an easier softer way. This mindset will lead them to continue to try fad diets and exercise gimmicks, and they will continue to blame everyone and everything around them when they fall short of their goals and dreams – and they will remain unhappy and overweight.
This doesn’t have to be our reality. We can do something to help ourselves.
When I first started out on my weight loss journey 8 years ago (really it’s been a lifelong challenge), and made the decision to change my life, I was 300 + pounds. I’ve had to recommit to that decision many times along the way. Quitting drinking was my first step towards the weight loss, but I was still living off of Sonic and other fast food & processed crap (and still lost 30 pounds – tells you how much booze I was consuming).
Slowly I began to see that I, and I alone, was the only one who could make real change happen in my life – and I wanted to get my life back more than anything else in the world. I was willing to begin to do the hard things and I remain open to that today.
Every single one of us has this power within us. Those of us who haven’t yet made this decision can do so right now. Most Americans have the ability to let go of the victim mentality and access to means that enable them to make better choices when they finally make a decision to do so.
Let us not forget just how fortunate we are to have this choice. There are millions of people all around the world who don’t have access to clean water, safe meat or beautiful, fresh produce. There are people starving all around the world, and here in America there are people starving (although they are obese) because they eat crap like McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Burger King, Carls Junior, Sonic, Wendy’s, Subway, boxed foods like mac and cheese, potato chips, crackers, etc… – I could go on and on.
The feeling of responsibility to not take more than my share (to not overeat), and to be grateful for the abundance that surrounds me runs deeper and flows freer in my heart more everyday – bubbling to the surface just when I need it.
An important lesson I am continuously learning and that is of vital necessity is to NOT beat ourselves up for “not doing it perfectly”. I am seeing more and more that the significance of my journey lies in my ability to embrace the process of warming up to new ideas, the questioning of my actions around how well I am taking care of myself, and seeing ways in which I set myself up for sabotage.
This is not an overnight process. I’ve been chipping away at my eating disorder and food addiction for 8 years. I’ve come a long long way, but there is always something new to work on. 🙂
Each person has a unique journey towards their ideal whole healthy living story. I hope that mine will inspire some to take a step towards theirs.
This week I encourage you to write about your dieting and exercise history. List all the ways in which you have attempted to lose weight – diets, exercise programs, doing more cardio, lotions, potions, pills, etc.. that you’ve tried. If you have an eating disorder list all the times that you have told yourself “never again”. Next, allow these fact to permeate your being and open your mind to the concept of maybe trying something different this time. Just be with that. In Part Two I will continue to guide you down the path. I am with you. I know how difficult this can be.
Always in your corner,
Coach Nichole Rae
- one-on-one coaching with Nichole
- personal training Colorado Springs, CO
- stretch to win Stretch Therapy sessions