How to lose weight and keep it off – Part Two “Why are you doing this?”

Losing weight and keeping it off requires us to question our motives. You might be saying, “Is it not obvious why I want to lose weight?” Well maybe, but that’s not the point. The point is that we become crystal clear about WHY we want to lose the weight so that we can stay on track more often – and when we get derailed we can recall these reasons to help us get back to our commitments. Skipping this pivotal step is a sure way to fall into old patterns of self-sabotage.

I remember clearly my motivation in the beginning. I was over 300 pounds. I was eliminating bile from both ends. I hated myself. I couldn’t walk around a block without hurting for a couple of days. I had completely removed myself from society, family and friends and my business had failed. I could no longer see myself under all that fat and heart ache.

Some other motivations might be:

  • so that you can play and keep up with your children or grandchildren
  • you’ve developed an illness like diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease
  • you’ve developed chronic pain in your knees, hips, ankles and low back
  • you want to be a better role model for your children (we do mimic our parents after-all)
  • you are sick of not being able to shop for clothes in most department stores
  • maybe not fitting into a airplane seat is embarrassing
  • tired of being referred to as “big-boned” (please – if you say this to others – STOP!)
  • it makes you sad when you choose to stay behind while everyone else goes for a hike, bike or other special activity that requires you to be physical – you play it so that it doesn’t seem to bother you but inside you’re dying
  • and maybe you’re like me – and you can simply no longer recognize yourself

Whatever YOUR motivation its a good one.

Over the last 8 years my reason “why” has ebbed and flowed. The one that has woven itself deeply is the longing to look good. Yep – that’s right! The insatiable hunger to look good, to be loved and to be accepted drove my engagement for a very long time – and it can still crop up. Is this healthy? Well – a mentor once said to me, “whatever keeps you sober today honey is good enough”. And, I will expand to say that whatever keeps you committed for today to making healthy choices with food and moving your body is good enough. One thing for certain is that your driving force will evolve, and evolve again, and again, and again.

Today my main incentive is to make room to allow my spirit to soar. Personally – when I am in the food and not exercising then my self-hate, isolation and depression sneaks up on me – strangles my spirit, and crushes me from the inside.

I firmly believe that when we live small we are destined to eat large. When we don’t take the time to inquire within to see what things we might not be honoring; such as, taking an art class, learning how to play a musical instrument, taking more time off, traveling more, spending time with family, making time for coffee with friends, furthering our education, or whatever the missing link may be – then we are suppressing our true potential and we will continue to fail in our weight loss and recovery attempts.


This week I encourage you to take some time and question what YOUR motivations are. Write about all the things you don’t do, OR that you would do if you were an ideal body weight or in better all-around health. Next, take time to be intimate with these thoughts. Allow whatever emotion that arises to simply rise and then fall away. Don’t judge it. Crying a river of tears may be just what is needed for you to shift. Lastly, formulate a clear reason(s) WHY, re-read Part One and re-commit.

Always in your corner,

Coach Nichole Rae

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